I've moved most of my blogs off of Blogger because they don't let me do what I wanna do with my design as well.
So, eventually this site will be moving across to another publishing spot and I'll put pictures n wonderful stuff up because the design will support more and it'll be easier to do things like link exchanges, etc.
Stay tuned, I plan to have most of the updates done by the time I go to first class on Saturday morning, so when I come back I can write all about First Day Back!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Troubles writing, "disrespecting Sensei"
I want to write here.
I really do.
I'm hoping that the start-back of the kyu club's training this Saturday inspires me towards writing, however, because there's a lot of positive energy there.
Within me, however, is frustration and a lack of faith in the future of what we know as "our organization".
When I'm in the kyu club, things are pretty great - I enjoy the people I see on a bi-weekly basis, I love watching everyone learn and progress and sweat and try hard. I love how they challenge me to keep going when I'm tired, how they help me learn further by allowing me to become their Sensei for a few minutes. I love how the instructors support my need to be a leader and learn from leadership of others.
But, outside of this little bubble of greatness, the world of "our organization" is very small these days. Fewer clubs, clubs with fewer students, fewer competitive-aged folk... Fewer is starting to look like a made-up word now.
There are whispers about new associations with larger karate bodies, but we're going from being "the center of things" to being someone else's periphery and that's a huge step back in my eyes, so I find it tremendously difficult to find any kind of excitement for it.
I actually hadn't realized that whole "from center to satellite" thing quite so clearly until now.
I started out in a smaller community that wasn't at the center of the things going on in our style of martial art - at a local YM/YWCA that rented facilities to my older brother, who had taken up martial arts after leaving home and had attained the rank of black belt before I left home and moved in with him to go to University. Being in the small community setting and being a low-ranked student, the fact that there was MAYBE one tournament a year that we'd go to didn't bother me. I didn't even know about the wonders of training camps or seminars or officiating seminars at the time, and I was still strongly addicted to karate itself.
Then, I moved to a new city and into the "center" of karate things within an organization. I was at the club where the Officiating seminars were held, the club with the guy who was one of three instructors at a big yearly summer camp and held his own camps and seminars at various times of the year - all of which were well-attended and a lot of fun.
But time has passed, times have changed. Students and instructors have come and gone. The head guy is still the head guy, but the followers are not of the same number or quality, especially after a large and painful split that happened about two years ago. Camps are non-existant. Seminars were as well for a few years but now there's a couple here and there - but I'm not entirely sure attendance foots the bill.
Seems to me that the "central" bit has gone down the drain fast. Now we've got a bunch of well-trained Officials and the tournaments are still being handled well, but the rest is in shambles at a high level from my view.
At a low level - life goes on. The regular club people have no clue that there were ever week-long Summer camps in the summer that were torturous and painful but some of the most incredible karate experiences they'd ever have and the most rewarding socializing they'd have on a repeat basis... that there were Seminars that would bring in people from many hours away and then bring you to THEIR club, many hours away, 6 months later to continue the karate friendships.
All they know is that they like their instructor and fellow karateka, what they're doing is fun, and (for some of them) sometimes they get to compete with it.
It pains me to think about retreating to that level of expectation for my martial art.
And for this reason, I cannot honestly say I have any interest in "ramping up" for a Nidan testing as I had been planning upon in the past. It feels dishonest to contemplate otherwise when all I'm truly interested in is enjoying the "bubble" that is my kyu rank club and staying away from the negativity that permeates the high-level dojo.
The next entry will be much more up-beat and talking about the fun parts of karate, I promise!
I really do.
I'm hoping that the start-back of the kyu club's training this Saturday inspires me towards writing, however, because there's a lot of positive energy there.
Within me, however, is frustration and a lack of faith in the future of what we know as "our organization".
When I'm in the kyu club, things are pretty great - I enjoy the people I see on a bi-weekly basis, I love watching everyone learn and progress and sweat and try hard. I love how they challenge me to keep going when I'm tired, how they help me learn further by allowing me to become their Sensei for a few minutes. I love how the instructors support my need to be a leader and learn from leadership of others.
But, outside of this little bubble of greatness, the world of "our organization" is very small these days. Fewer clubs, clubs with fewer students, fewer competitive-aged folk... Fewer is starting to look like a made-up word now.
There are whispers about new associations with larger karate bodies, but we're going from being "the center of things" to being someone else's periphery and that's a huge step back in my eyes, so I find it tremendously difficult to find any kind of excitement for it.
I actually hadn't realized that whole "from center to satellite" thing quite so clearly until now.
I started out in a smaller community that wasn't at the center of the things going on in our style of martial art - at a local YM/YWCA that rented facilities to my older brother, who had taken up martial arts after leaving home and had attained the rank of black belt before I left home and moved in with him to go to University. Being in the small community setting and being a low-ranked student, the fact that there was MAYBE one tournament a year that we'd go to didn't bother me. I didn't even know about the wonders of training camps or seminars or officiating seminars at the time, and I was still strongly addicted to karate itself.
Then, I moved to a new city and into the "center" of karate things within an organization. I was at the club where the Officiating seminars were held, the club with the guy who was one of three instructors at a big yearly summer camp and held his own camps and seminars at various times of the year - all of which were well-attended and a lot of fun.
But time has passed, times have changed. Students and instructors have come and gone. The head guy is still the head guy, but the followers are not of the same number or quality, especially after a large and painful split that happened about two years ago. Camps are non-existant. Seminars were as well for a few years but now there's a couple here and there - but I'm not entirely sure attendance foots the bill.
Seems to me that the "central" bit has gone down the drain fast. Now we've got a bunch of well-trained Officials and the tournaments are still being handled well, but the rest is in shambles at a high level from my view.
At a low level - life goes on. The regular club people have no clue that there were ever week-long Summer camps in the summer that were torturous and painful but some of the most incredible karate experiences they'd ever have and the most rewarding socializing they'd have on a repeat basis... that there were Seminars that would bring in people from many hours away and then bring you to THEIR club, many hours away, 6 months later to continue the karate friendships.
All they know is that they like their instructor and fellow karateka, what they're doing is fun, and (for some of them) sometimes they get to compete with it.
It pains me to think about retreating to that level of expectation for my martial art.
And for this reason, I cannot honestly say I have any interest in "ramping up" for a Nidan testing as I had been planning upon in the past. It feels dishonest to contemplate otherwise when all I'm truly interested in is enjoying the "bubble" that is my kyu rank club and staying away from the negativity that permeates the high-level dojo.
The next entry will be much more up-beat and talking about the fun parts of karate, I promise!
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